Saturday, June 28, 2008

Cure My Curiosity

This is something that has been on my mind a while. I thought I might wait until August 1st to ask this question, but my interest on the subject has overpowered my patience.

Where were you and what did you do when you got the news that Gus had died?

I remember my experience and could never forget it, but I'm wondering about everyone who knows me personally or through a friend or a friend of a friend, including all my bloggy friends.

Please indulge me; just this once.

I'd really appreciate it.

29 comments:

stephanie said...

i was walking out of mike's parents' house, listening to your message on my phone. as soon as i heard, i blurted the news out to mike. we went back into the house and told his mom. then i called you. you were on your way to the airport and seemed so calm.

Robin said...

Abbie called me. I was in my family room, it was evening time. I was just shocked and we just cried on the phone together. Henry was only 5 days old and I just couldn't grasp how someone so tiny and perfect and innocent could be taken away.

The McKinnon 4 said...

We were out running errands. Because Kassidy was just born we didnt want to take her in the stores so Ryan and I took turns going into a few stores. In one store he ran into Mike who told him. Ryan didnt tell me right away, knowing how paranoid I can get and having a new baby of my own. He said he thought about not telling me but then realized I would find out anyway. When I came out of a store and got in the car he finally told me. I just remember being in complete shock. I could not get you guys out of my mind for days as I sat and thought about what you must be going through. I only have a small idea of what it must have been like having been through the doctors telling me that Kadence would not survive and to tell her goodbye. No parent should ever have to go through the loss of a child. (I LOVE that pic of little Guss.)

Natalie said...

I was in Utah and Brian and I had just stopped to visit a friend of his and my mom called. I got off the phone, and started crying as I told Brian and his friend the news. Then I went out to the car and cried on and off for the next day or so. (Not as much crying as you did, I know.) It was hard for me to even comprehend what it would be like to lose Wes and have to go through what you were/are going through.

Lyndsay said...

I was washing dishes in the early evening. (I even remember I was using orange dish soap!) And Wes came in and told me that Gus had died. I felt shocked, and I started asking "Why? What happened?" Over and over. I started crying. Finn was still very young, and I immediately thought of the pain of losing my infant baby and I was so sad for you. It actually really effected me, and took me a few weeks to come to terms with that intense sad feeling I had when I initially learned about little Gus. My heart was aching for you.

Tia Langston said...

I was at a Anderson Family Reunion in Endicott. My grandma was having all the grandkids and great grandkids paint flowers around the edge of her back patio on the cement. I was visiting with my cousin Melody and I mentioned something about you and your new sweet baby and she had just heard the news the day or so before, so she filled me in. I was in shock as well. Then the next day in church, Audrey Kolb announced it in testimony meeting...I sobbed through the whole meeting. I think a lot of us who had small babies at the time took it pretty hard.

Kelsey said...

I had just barely finished my last day of class for my summer invert course and was walking between buildings on campus when my dad called and told me. I probably asked him "are you serious?" about five times, knowing full well that he was, but I was shocked and didn't know what else to say. I cried every time I saw a picture of Gus for the next month, and I still tear up occasionally just thinking about the whole ordeal. And I so wish I could have offered you more than just a phone call.

Leslie said...

i was at home, getting ready for bed, i think, and stephanie had emailed me and told me gus had died. i called her as soon as i read it and we cried on the phone, in complete disbelief that this could happen to such a perfect little guy. i hadn't ever met you, but still was so effected by your experience. you're doing awesome, by the way. i ask steph every so often how you're doing. :)

Karen said...

I love this question because I always wonder too about the coinciding events to mine.

I was sitting at the computer when Mom called and told me. I just remember standing up very quickly and walking to the front door like I was going to go fix it. Mom and I divided up the sibling list and called them and told them. Each phone call was full of shock and disbelief, but I'll never forget the sincere sadness in Timmy's voice.

Tina said...

Robby called me... At the same time I answered his call, Hillary called, too. I can't believe, under the circumstances, that I put him on hold to answer hers, but he hadn't told me yet. She told me you guys were going to need us, BAD! I went back to Robby's call and he told me... I just kept saying, "What? NO! No, wait, what? Oh no! Oh, Robby, I'm so sorry! How? Oh, no! What are you going to do? Do you want us to come right down? We'll come!" Then when I got off the phone I just cried uncontrolably in Dad's arms. I just couldn't believe it and hated that MY baby boy and his little wife were suffering so much pain... indescrible pain. Then I called my dear friend in Utah, Juanita Anderson, to tell her and cried more. It was such a nightmare. Then I spent the better part of the night on the phone with Hillary... I hope no one we love or know... anyone for that matter, ever has to go this that again.

Sadie said...

I was at home and K'lyn called me and after I got off the phone, I told Eddie and then told him to watch the kids because I needed some time. And I locked myself in the closet for a couple hours and cried and prayed for you guys.

tara said...

I think Leslie called me before I saw it on your blog. I was so sad for you. I said a prayer for you, and have said many for you since then. You are dong so well, as far as I can see...
You are an inspiration Mel, keep it up!

Mrs. Dub said...

Stephanie called me, and I had no words. I'd been thinking about you already, but I starting praying for you and Robby ... and basically haven't stopped since. I had never met someone my age who had a baby die of SIDS. I couldn't imagine your pain and grief. I've had a taste of it since, but it still can't compare. Losing Gus touched so many people, but sharing your experience has touched even more.

Bronson Clan said...

I was just hanging out with Hyrum when my mom called me. I remember walking from the kitchen into the living room as she told me in a very serious voice that she had some very sad news. I was due to have my little boy any day, and it just hit me so hard when my mom told me you had lost Gus. I thought of all the beautiful pictures you had posted, and the pictures of how hard the labor was. I cried thinking of that sweet little baby and how fragile life can be. I always have these unfounded fears when I'm pregnant about the babies not living long, or not even being born alive or things like that, and having that fear I always have in me anyways made credible and thinking of all you and your family was going through just broke my heart.

Amber said...

You and I hadn't really started talking yet then, so I pieced together what had happened through a few different blogs. I just sat in front of the computer and cried. I got down on my knees at the end of my bed to pray for you and wept. That's the first time I've ever been so compelled to pray for, and so heartbroken by the circumstances of, someone I'd never actually met.

I still think about you all the time, but there was probably a month that you were one of the first things on my mind when I got up in the morning, and I'd stop at various times throughout the day to pray for you guys. I shed a lot of tears for you. I shared your story with friends and my sister-in-law, who still ask me about you from time to time. Little Gus touched SO many lives in his short time here. I can't imagine what you've been through, but I'm so glad you have such great support and that you're doing so well.

The Queen said...

I saw on Stephanie's blog that she had a friend whose baby had passed away. I don't think she linked to your blog if I remember correctly. But I realized later it was your baby. I had read your blog a few times before. I was so so sad, though. I know a few people who have lost babies. I am so sensitive, though, I cry every time. Even for you, I didn't even "know" you yet. :)

And I am so sorry I forgot to stop in to make a comment on Gus' birthday. I meant to do that and I forgot. :(

Anonymous said...

I was at home and it was around 9:00 p.m. the phone rang and it was Amy, she told me the heartbreaking news and I remember being so stunned I couldn't really accept it. Amy's phone lost service and she called me back, by that time it sunk in what had happened and I think all we did was cry. When we finished talking I called Kari and told her what had happened to Gus, she was as stunned as all of us. My sweet little Amy realized how much we all needed to be together so she had Leigh meet at my house along with herself, Kari was home so we all just talked for hours, and prayed for all of you. Debbie

Abbie said...

I was at my parents house the same time Stephanie was there when she got your call. She came back in and told my parents and Cathy, and Cathy came downstairs to tell me.

I was in complete shock, and so sad for you. I know this last year has been unbelievably hard for you, but sharing your story has helped more people than you probably realize.

Brett and Sarah Garner said...

I saw a comment you made on Mrs. Dubbs blog and clicked on the link to your site. When I read about what happened to your perfect little boy I cried and cried. I hate hearing about other mommies who have to send their babies back to heaven.

I've thought about that same question with my little girl. It's human nature to wonder what other people were doing the moment your life came crashing down on you!

Although I don't know you I have sent many prayers up for your little family!

Leigh Anna said...

friend, i'm late on this post...i've been out of computer land for a bit, but thought i'd write a quick note if you're up to reading it.

i had just got home, my roomie and her boyfriend were making a late dinner in the kitchen, we were talking, i checked my email like i did each night, opened yours and my roomie asked me a question about my day but i couldn't talk...tears. Then Amy called.

Couldn't get you out of my mind...still can't, I think about you daily. Know I love you.

Lindy said...

i was at my mom's house (since i don't have the internet) and i was blog hopping and stumbled across stephanie's post so i had to investigate. i never could have imagined how heart broken i would have been for you since i barely knew/know you. i sobbed and thought about how unfair it is and i still do think that. i am glad to see that you're taking care of yourself.

Jill said...

Brad told me but didn't know any details. Mike must have texted him or something. So I called Stephanie to find out what had happened. She and I cried on the phone. I remember several long moments of us crying and not speaking. I think I had seen you and Gus just before that at playgroup and so it felt unbelievable that he could be gone. I went to a ballet with Marie Shill and my cousin Kim... I think you were actually going to go to the ballet at one point... and I talked with them about Gus and we all cried. My cousin had a brand new baby at the time and has since told me that she cried many nights watching her baby sleep and thinking of you.

Megan said...

I don't know you, but I know Robin & her sister Emily. Robin had a small blog post. I felt heartache for someone I don't even know. Since then I read your blog & have shed many tears while reading your posts over the last year. I have thought about you & wonder how you manage to do it day in & day out. You are amazing!

dalyman said...

I was at work and my mom called me. I really didn't know what to think. I just wanted to see you.

Aunties said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah-Olivia said...

I was laying in bed when my mom called and told me. She then asked me when his birthday was so I told her that it was June 22nd and burst into tears. Scotland (my little girl) was born on June 6th and just the thought of loosing someone so little and precious tore my heart apart. I (later that week) spent countless hours reading about SIDS and crying and loosing sleep, etc. Melanie, I really am so sorry for what has happened and there honestly is not a day that goes by that I do not think about you.

KatieJ said...

I was checking my e-mail at my kitchen counter when I got yours- I just said "oh no!" out loud, and started crying, and then my husband and kids started coming over and asking what's wrong and then I pointed to the computer and Sam read it and told the kids that something sad happened and then I went back to our room and cried and said a prayer for you guys. I just couldn't shake that sad feeling for weeks- I still feel it when I think about what you guys must have gone through.

Anonymous said...

Mel,
I too was so shocked when I clicked on to 'Gracie Lue and Gus too' and found your sad news. I sat stunned. Then prayed a silent prayer for you and your family. My own sister buried five still born babies, four were full term, 8 pound babies. I know this was different than having your precious warm cuddly Gus in your arms and loving him, as long as you were able to. He was just so perfect and beautiful!
But it brought back all the emotions I felt each time she lost another beautiful child. My heart ached for you when I found out about your precious Gus and it still does. Going to the temple often and feeling their little spirits there helped her.

The Bjurstrom Family said...

You don't know me, but I am good friends with the Stacie & Josh. Stacie & I were talking on the phone and she said that they had friends, who's baby passed away. I'll never forget how I felt that day. I cried and I didn't even know you guys, but I know how Stacie felt for you guys. I remember thinking what would happen if one of my children passed away. I know I said prayers for your family. I still can't imgaine the pain and grief. I know with Janie passing away, I've seen the emotions first hand through the Rogers family. I am grateful that they have you, Robby and the gospel:)