Sunday, June 22, 2008

Happy 1st Birthday to Gus

I can't believe it's been a year. I still remember exactly what it felt like to push him out. It was a very traumatic delivery but so worth it. I thought this day would be a nightmare but I'm really doing so much better than I thought I would. I went to the temple this week and had a great experience and I'm feeling much more peace about my Gus and what he is doing now. My emotions seem to be catching up with the logic I've known for so long.

I will allow myself to remember what it felt like to hold him when he was so small and what his cry sounded like. I remember his little noises and his sweet angel face when his eyes opened to look at me.

I will get all that out today then focus on moving in a new direction. I'm happy for where I'm at right now and hopefully it will only get better.

Love you baby Gus. Happy Birthday.

16 comments:

Martha said...

I will keep you in my prayers today.

stephanie said...

mel, you sound so great. i'll be thinking about you today.

The McKinnon 4 said...

I am so glad that you are doing well. It sounds like this trip to Utah has really helped you. Even though I never got the chance to meet little Gus, you can just tell in the pics what a sweet little guy he was. You are in my thoughts and prayers, especially today. Happy Birthday Gus!

=)Larissa said...

I am sending my prayers and love your way! It truly does sound like you are doing great, Mel. I am so happy for you! LOVES!
Happy Birthday Gus!

Natalie said...

Been thinking about you today. I'm glad you're doing okay.

Kelsey said...

Happy birthday little Gus!

Alisa said...

Very sweet, Mel.

Justin and Miranda Townsend said...

I've been thinking about you and Gus all day, Mel. We miss him too.

Tina said...

Been thinkin' about you today... you sound well and happy, even with everything... Remembering the sweet memories and holding them dear, I sure, will bring peace and comfort..... and joy. We sure missed you guys at the Family Reunion at Jacob Lake. The weather was delightful and we had a great time. There were 52 of us (+2 dogs), but we're hoping next year you'll be able to be there... there was a distinct hole where you should have been. Jacob Lake was THE perfect place for a camping reunion! Take care and squeeze Gracie for me! xoxoxoxox

Amber said...

You sound like you're doing well, Mel. I'm glad that you can cherish the memories of him. I've been thinking of you.
Happy Birthday Gus!

Lyndsay said...

I was thinking about you today, Melanie!

Alyssa said...

I've been thinking about you today (and yesterday) and Gus today. I know he is so proud of you! You are in our prayers!

emidinkl said...

I echo Alyssa. I had the same thought---Gus must be so proud of his mamma for the perfect blend of strength and vulnerability you exemplify to us all. Much Love.

Anonymous said...

Love to you today and everyday. Debbie H.

Mrs. Dub said...

happy b-day to a very special guy!

Tori :) said...

I know my little sister's bdays are always the hardest for me. I guess because the birthday girl isn't here. (She died 10 yrs ago.)
I hope Gus' day continued to be happy for you.