Saturday, July 25, 2009

Gracie Models and Mel Dawdles

While we are waiting for our camera to be fixed, I decided I would post some recent pics of Gracie that haven't been seen before. My dad was not happy about leaving this morning and us not having a working camera. So this was my compromise.

Well, I'm in the home stretch. Only 1 more week until August 1st. Since Gus' birthday, I've tried to fight my body's pohysical reaction to all the insane emotions I've been feeling. It has been no good.

So I decided a few weeks ago to give my body permission to react how it was going to react, and I'd deal with whatever was thrown at me. And that's what I've been doing. But once the 5 weeks and 2 days are up, I have to do whatever it takes to return to normal life.

Trying to maintain my normal life while struggling so deeply was causing so much more turmoil and pain than necessary. By giving myself a time frame, I've been able to have the patience to work through what I need to work through. It's been very helpful for me.

After August 1st, I will pull myself back together and become a new version of myself. I have no idea who that will be, but I know that my priorities will be rearranged. And I have to be committed to my new priorities 100%, or else. I don't know what the consequence is but, in my head, it probably involves some kind of verbal/emotional abuse.

Ok, that concludes my nonsensical rambling. I hope I find myself stronger on the other side of this. I can't escape it so I might as well stand up and fight.

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