Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Baby Boys

A cousin, sweet Angie, lost her baby boy, Lyle Jack Ward, last Saturday. He was just a little guy at 9 oz but I'm told he has a huge spirit.

I'm a firm believer in the faith moving mountains. My faith has moved the mountain of grief I feel every day. It doesn't take it away, it's just lifted for a little while. When it becomes necessary for me to grieve again, the mountain comes back and with faithful exertion, it is moved again; for a little while.

I've gained strength and courage through personal tragedy. I am taking my Aunt Mary's advice and filling my lamp with oil. The oil helps sustain me when the light goes out unexpectedly.

The initial pain of losing a child is just what you think it would be. Unbearable. Unbelievable. Unimaginable. Unacceptable. Then, when that has all been addressed, dealing with the situation is still necessary. Faith and prayer won't remove the pain or despair.

But Hope will. Hope to see that baby again. Hope for strength. Hope for support and love. Hope for survival and guidance.

". . .If I lose hope, then I lose Faith. If I lose Faith, then I lose eternal happiness. I do not ever want to lose hope. It is a most personal and precious possession that I must never give up, and never allow anyone or anything to take from me. . ." -Richard Holmes Gus Funeral Talk

It has never been said better.


KatieJ said...

I'm obviously behind on my blog reading, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin and her little baby.

Tiff Moser said...

I have been "catching up" on your blog posts for the past half-hour. This post was particularly touching. I had heard about Angie's baby and I was sad for her. I think she was just a few weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy.

I loved reading your dad's talk again that he gave at Gus's funeral. You both have such a way with words and expressing yourselves. It's very inspriring.