Monday, January 25, 2010

A Few Honest Thoughts


Taken after Gus' funeral, August 7, 2007

Emily's Support the Bereaved Series has been truly touching to read. Mostly because it is the most honest take on how to support someone who has lost a loved one that I have ever read. She finished off the series with words from bereaved family members, myself included, and I cried through the entire thing.

I would like to urge you to read her series and if nothing else, the post titled In Their Words. It's very powerful and eye opening, even to someone who is dealing with her own grief. I cannot express enough how helpful this series has been and how grateful I am to Emily for speaking on behalf of all those who are suffering.

I recently spoke with a woman who lost a baby girl she'd adopted after a few days. She never even got to bring the baby home. I think it's been about 8 years and she still cried telling me the story. It really is true that no matter how much time passes, the experience is still a painful and emotional one that takes a lifetime of healing.

Sometimes I feel discouraged that it can still hurt so bad after 2 1/2 years, but I'm slowly learning that it's ok if I have bad days and, most importantly, that it'is completely normal.

3 comments:

Emily Ruth said...

I love you Mel. And I love when you talk about Gus. He left his footprint on this earth in so many ways. You both helped me prepare for our loss and I thank you endlessly.
xoxo

Natalie said...

Most definitely normal. I'm grateful for that series, too.

Devin and Chelsey said...

completely true. Everyday I walk around with my head held high thinking that I'm ok, untill theres that ONE thing that knocks you down again, you remember the hurt, the pain, the sorrow and it ruins the rest of the day. Yesterday was one of those days.

I decided that it was the best idea to cry in my car on the way home from work, only to make myself feel better. No sense in trying to skip over the thoughts, they were already there. Live deep in that moment of that sorrow and pain, cry it out and feel a little better after that. UGH yesterday was a hard day. )-:
I feel extrememly grateful that I have a family member/cousin that knows my pain and sorrow and that help me through it. No one really has an idea of what you are feeling unless they have gone through what you did. Mine wasn't as extreme, but it still hurts deeply somedays.
Love you Mel!