Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Gus would be 4 tomorrow

Being pregnant while remembering Gus' birthday is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've been doing great so far, no impending doom hanging over my head. But it all just kind of hit me today. A new baby is coming and my Gus is getting farther and farther away from me. I know it's illogical, but I feel like the new baby will completely replace Gus. Gus was only ever a baby and if I get another one, what does that mean? I don't know but I know I'm going to be working through some things the next couple days.

4 comments:

Robin said...

I was thinking about Gus yesterday. I hope you will be doing well. Let me know if I can do anything to help. I love you and little zip will never replace Gus. You are doing the right thing. I know this must be hard, but I want you to know that I love you and that I am proud of you.

Small and Simple said...

it was really hard being pregnant this last time for me too. if it makes you feel any better, he noah hasn't replaced janie, and we've talked about her a lot more since noah has come into our lives. it sort of feels like she is even more real than she was before. but it still hurts and the piece of my heart that was hers is still broken, i think it always will be, but also, having another baby, although terrifying!! has opened that wound up again (painful) but i think it is healing better this time...maybe? I don't know. I love you though and hope that little Gus and little Janie are together sometimes up there. who knows, maybe they will fall in love and then josh and robby can be in-laws. wouldn't they love that?

thinking of you and gus tomorrow.

love,
stacie

Leslie said...

I think what Stacie said is so wonderful, that having a new baby has made Janie seem more real. maybe having a new little zip will help you find memories of gus that you thought were gone. i'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that you will have happy birthday thoughts for your sweet boy.

Tina McKinnon said...

Amen to what's already been said... emotionally, I'm sure this time and your feelings are raw, but I know you know, spiritually, that Gus will always be there and is yours forever... eternally forever. Zip will never take his place as they each have their own place in your heart and in your family... our family. Love you.
xox
t.