Friday, November 16, 2012

I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud

Yesterday, I walked in the house after being gone all morning at physical therapy to a wide open front door and stolen tvs, guns, a safe, and my jewelry box. I'm trying to stay positive, but honestly, I'm super overwhelmed and stressed right now and I can't shake it. It's way too many traumatic events in such a short amount of time. And I'm doing everything I can to find the things I'm grateful for and make smart choices but I just don't feel like I have it in me.

It's been a long time since I've felt this way. I can't remember my healthy coping mechanisms and I don't even feel like I care to remember them. I want to curl up in a ball and hide in a closet where no one will find me for at least 5 hours. My back is still killing me, my neck is still bothering me, I have hideous, inexplicable bruises all over my body that just make me feel bad about myself (seriously, ask me to show you the next time I see you; it's crazy), and the worst part right now is that Robby is working from 6:30 am to 10:00 pm tomorrow and I have multiple commitments to attend to.

I realize I'm just complaining right now and I apologize but I've got to vent it out or I feel like I'm going to explode in a fit of rage and tears. I'm to the point where I just want my mom to come and make everything better. At least she'll be here in a few weeks. I just have to hold on somehow, even if it's by the skin of my teeth, which, at this point, is looking like the likely scenario. Wish me luck.

1 comment:

Laura said...

Mel, I'm so sorry. I would love to help out in anyway I can. And you know what I believe in you. YOU CAN DO IT!